| as i watch the girl unfold before my eyes i discover that i like her |
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[02 Oct 2005|01:09pm] |
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nickleback - photograph |
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she lives! yes i am alive and doing much better for that matter. september is finally over, thank God, and i'm ready to move on from all this crap. and to celebrate the end of such a disastrous month, what else but fun at colin's. ballew came down for the weekend and everything finally was as it should be. anyway completely random but yeah...at b&n yesterday this lady told me i was bringing misfortune upon myself because i handed her 3 dollar bills face up and then 1 face down on top of them. hmmm...she said it was the worst luck possible. i think she's full of shit-nothing's gonna get me down anymore.
( no misfortune here )
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(you can breathe... | but the air is running out)
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[18 Aug 2005|12:07pm] |
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james taylor - fire and rain |
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last night it hit me like a ton of bricks. megan actually isn't coming back this year. i mean, i've known this for quite awhile now but it just didn't feel real. we both said it felt like she'd be here in a week or so. but no. it probably won't be a little over a year until i see her again.
i'm angry, i'm sad, and i'm hurt. i hate the war. i hate bush. i don't care who disagrees. i don't want my friend to have to go into that. i know it was her choice in the first place, but it's not fair. she's scared. we all are. my hair is actually falling out because i'm already worrying about her so much. and i'm too emotional now. every little thing makes me cry. green day's new video made me cry until my head hurt. i don't want her to go.
this year will be bittersweet. i'm happy for everyone to be back, especially zach. now that he is it seems like he never left. i love that. but everytime we all hang out and have fun, i know i'll feel guilty. like the other night at the house, she wasn't there and i felt really bad. it's not fair that she has to put her whole life on hold to go to iraq. i hate this war.
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(you can breathe... | but the air is running out)
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[25 Jul 2005|12:06am] |
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bright eyes - easy/lucky/free |
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work sucks. well it's fun because my co-workers are cool, but it generally sucks. people are just messy and rude. and no offense, but i hate shoppers from mexico. too many mexican shoppers at barnes and noble.
enough randomness...megan comes back to the valley tuesday for one last time. she'll be here for two weeks then she's off to fort bliss for a month and then gone to iraq for...well i'm not sure how long, but too damn long is for sure. it's crazy how close you can get to a person in such a short time. next year just won't be the same without her, not to mention without everyone else who's leaving. i'm still really uneasy about her whole iraq situation. i know she'll be okay and that everything's gotten a lot better, but iraq still isn't nearly safe. i'm gonna miss her.
mona leaves this week for colorado also. i'm happy for her that she's going, because she's been wanting this for a long time now, but it still sucks all the same. after the emotional rollercoaster that we went through this weekend, a lot of things were put in to perspective for me. no matter what we do or where we go, kelly, mona, and nytashah will always be there. we can scream, fight, and basically tear each other to pieces but when all is said and done, we'll be there to pick up each other's pieces.
yeah...i'm a cornball.
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(you can breathe... | but the air is running out)
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[13 Jul 2005|06:06pm] |
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 content |
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head automatica - bleeding heart baby |
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i'm back! sorry for the lack of updates recently. reason being an extensive amount of crap happened these past 3 weeks that i wish everyone would just stop talking about. so if you know what i'm talking about then stop talking about it ; )
anywho, summer 2 has started, blah. i'm taking a principles of marketing and an aerobic dance class and i feel so silly doing the workouts. so far they're not that tiring and i'm the only one in the class who can do a real pushup. when you've been running since you were 12, any other way of working out just doesn't seem to cut it. plus i sprained my ankle the other day. :( i won't say how but it'll go down as one of my clumsiest moments.
well i thought i felt like updating but i think that's all i'm gonna do for now.
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(you can breathe... | but the air is running out)
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[08 Jun 2005|11:33pm] |
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mood |
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 bored |
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music |
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Mindy Smith - One Moment More |
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i'm so dizzy and lightheaded...i'm about to pass out. but seriously. my brother wrote this song, well the music to it and i helped with the lyrics and we sang and recorded it but i've been sick and my voice has been scratching so we had to record several times. and by the 4th run through i was seeing double of the words. my damn asthma never lets up on me. i can't even make it through one recording session. there goes my singing career. ;) hah like i'd ever have one.
zach is coming to visit next weekend. YAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYY! it'll be a month since i've seen him. i'm so excited. plus he's gonna help out with the track meet so he'll get to meet all my kids. yay again.
anyways i'm bored and found this on alyssa's journal.
( randomness )
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(you can breathe... | but the air is running out)
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[30 May 2005|08:43pm] |
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so lately they've been playing the new Dave Matthews CD at barnes and noble and i can't stand to listen to another second of it. it's nothing against the music because it's awesome, not as good as his old stuff, but entertaining nonetheless. but Dave Matthews brings back the memory of someone i haven't thought about in quite awhile. everytime i hear any dmb song i can't help but remember him and that's just a part of my life i want to leave in the past. hearing dave matthews is like smelling sunblock and automatically thinking of the beach or like smelling pine and thinking of christmas. and it's not only dmb, for some reason summer reminds me of him too. it connects me to a time in my life when i thought i knew all the answers only to find out they were all wrong. but i've grown from that time, made my peace with it, and i'm done with it. and now i seriously don't want to be reminded of it, or shall i say him. and it's no offense towards him either, it's just one of those things you don't want to talk about and can't stand to think about. if friendship was in the cards for us i would have been all for it, but it wasn't and part of me just wants to forget about that time entirely. not because i have any hard feelings or bitterness about the whole thing but only because it's irrelevant to the person that i am now. anyway, hopefully dave matthews won't be playing the next time i go into work.
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(but the air is running out)
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[29 May 2005|03:43pm] |
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proud |
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Rascal Flatts - Fast Cars and Freedom |
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my brother graduated yesterday. there aren't enough words to express how proud of him i am. he's endured so much throughout his life and still managed to have such a bright outlook on life. there's no one else in the world who's inspired me as much as he has. no matter the situation he has always put his life into God's hands and let his faith carry him through whatever he was going through. No one thought he would make it this far, but he proved them wrong and came out shining. I honestly believe God has put Aaron in this world to accomplish great things. With his graduation behind him now, the possibilities of what he will accomplish are endless and I can't wait to see what he has in store for us.
CONGRATULATIONS AARON!!!!!
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(but the air is running out)
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[16 May 2005|12:02am] |
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mood |
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hopeful |
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music |
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noise from my guitar as i try to play in between typing |
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the craziest thing happened tonight. i was on my 30 minute break from work and i was driving to pick something up to eat. i decided to get wendy's but i was already passed it so i turned into the parking lot of XS to turn around. well something caught my eye in the grass, by the road, and as i come closer i realize there's an old man passed out in the grass and his chest wasn't moving at all. so i get closer to him and yell at him, from my car, to see if he's alright. no response. so i yell louder. still no response. so i'm flipping out and my heart is racing but i decide to get out of my car and get closer to him yet. i yell as loud as i can and he still doesn't move. his skin looked waxy and his mouth his partly opened and his chest still wasn't moving. somehow i managed to dial 911 and call for help. i called barnes and noble afterwards to let them know what was going on and steve and conrad came over to help. they freaked when they got there too because the man seriously looked dead. when the paramedics got there, along with three police cars, the man finally came to and had apparently fainted from dehydration and heat stroke. he had been lying there for several hours and was severely sick. i was still sooo scared because imagine finding, all by yourself, what you think to be is a dead person. i felt like i overreacted but they said i did the right thing and had no one come across him he probably would have died because he hadn't eaten or had anything to drink in awhile. i felt awful for the poor old man but in a way my faith in God was once again made stronger. there was a reason i was there at that time and that place and well God was definitely looking out for that man.
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(you can breathe... | but the air is running out)
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[12 May 2005|07:33pm] |
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red house painters - song for a blue guitar |
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everyone left today, well at least zach, colin, craig, and silke. zach will be back on sunday but only for three days and then he's gone for the summer. it'll be weird not having everyone around this summer. we've all gotten so close much closer this past year. and then some of them aren't even coming back. like ballew, jen, and a.j. can't say i won't miss 'em. : /
chris wants me to play with him tomorrow at this elem. thing. it's a talent show and he plays during the intermissions. i said no because i'm too scared. i just don't think i can handle playing in front of a big crowd. the tv production thing was different because there was only like 10 people, and even then i was nervous. i really want to play with him cause he's awesome but i don't think i'm ready yet. hopefully i'll get over this soon.
well i felt like updating but not so much now. i'll just post pictures from last weekend.
( carla's house and mexico )
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(you can breathe... | but the air is running out)
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| procrastinate today, don't put it off |
[09 May 2005|12:01am] |
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blank |
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i should be studying right now. i have two finals tomorrow but they shouldn't be too bad. but i should still be studying. too much focus equals to no work done. that's bad english but oh well. school's done wednesday for me. absolutely cannot wait. i'm sure that's the feeling of every twenty-somethin in the nation right now. while i'm completely ecstatic about not having school for a semester, i'm dreading the summer. all mine will entail is workin at b&n, coaching summer track, running, and that's about it, oh and school during summer II. i'll probably visit zach like twice and he'll come down too but it doesn't seem like enough. i never thought i'd actually wish for the summer to fly by, but i hope it just might.
anywho, i have a lot on my mind right now other than studying. for instance, the rapture & tribulation. out of left field right? well i finally got to reading the left behind series, for those who don't know it's a series of twelve books about the rapture and second-coming of Christ. what rapture is referring to is the time when Jesus will return and will take all those who are true believers leaving behind the non-believers. i'm on the seventh book, The Indwelling, right now and I've got to say they're the best books i've read in a while. anyway, they force you to evaluate yourself and where you stand with God. like the fact that i even had to question what would happen to me if Jesus raptured His church tomorrow kind of scared me. I consider myself a Christian and try to be as good as i can be. but the fact of the matter is, not one person is righteous. that's the whole point of Christianity actually. admitting that you are a sinner but that you believe that Jesus, the son of God, paid the price for your sins. and while i whole heartedly believe that i still find myself wondering what will happen to me. there will be a second-second coming, if you will, after the rapture in which all those who have become true believers will have a second chance but according to prophecy will have to endure so much before that. i know the books are fiction but they're based on the bible and prophecy and i believe in them and well i'm just rambling now but for some reason guilt is heavily weighing on me.
okay i realllllly need to study now so "the end".
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(but the air is running out)
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[04 May 2005|07:12pm] |
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the arcade fire - rebellion (lies) |
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haven't updated in awhile...been pretty busy with school and all. thank goodness it's all over. i just have 3 finals which will all be pretty easy soo yayy. this sunday was the banquet. felt kinda weird being there since i quit the team and all but i still had to go because of the cross country season. i miss it and all and depending on how the summer goes, i might rejoin the team in the fall. we'll see.
after the banquet was a party at aaron's. every athlete from pan am and there mother was there so it was kinda fun. i had to leave early though because i had a presentation monday morning that i had to finish. it went well.
monday we re-recorded the public service announcement lizet and i produced. it's gonna look so good when it's edited and finished. i was so scared though to play my guitar and sing in front of everyone but i think it went well. what it was, basically, was a commercial for the soldier in iraq. i played and sang come home soon by shedaisy and we had people sitting around holding different momentos from their loved ones. makes you kinda want to cry but it was good.
so zach's gonna leave soon. i can't imagine spending the whole summer without him. things are so different now compared to last year when he left for the summer. i was sad he was leaving but it wasn't that big of deal. now i have no idea how i'm gonna handle it. it's only 3 months and we'll visit each other a few times, but i've seen him practically every single day for the last 4 months. it's gonna be a big change. i've never been as close to a person as i am with him. we're not just a couple, we're best friends. corny i know, but it's true.
anyway, here are some pictures from the banquet and a couple from the last home baseball game.
( : ) )
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(you can breathe... | but the air is running out)
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| too many birthdays |
[10 Apr 2005|04:16pm] |
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 busy |
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Johnathan Rice - Mid November |
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Well this weekend was pretty good, completely filled with birthdays. Everyone seems to have been born on April 9th. Just to say it again...HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY SISTER, MEGAN + TWIN RACHEL, + NYTASHAH
Anyways, here's my weekend recap:
Thursday night went to XS to pregame Megan's 19th birthday. Zach and I left early and unfortunately missed Megan and Claudia winning the Thong Contest. But oh well.
Friday we barbequed all day at Collin's for Megan's birthday. The day was great and the night, well let's just say it brought some memorable moments. Most of it was spent taking care of Megan but it was still fun.
Saturday sucked because I had to work. I hate work now. It's fun sometimes but people are such assholes. I mean come on how hard is it to put away the book you took out yourself. We close at 11:00 but since it was so trashed I didn't get out till almost 2:00.
And now today I have to work again at 6:00 and will probably pull an all-nighter studying for my PR test tomorrow. My professor is insane, she assigned 10 chapters for the test. Who does that? Oh well wish me luck.
( Birthday Barbeque at Collin's )
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(you can breathe... | but the air is running out)
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[20 Mar 2005|10:50pm] |
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mood |
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complacent |
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the shins |
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sooo haven't updated in awhile. school's been pretty busy so i haven't had much time for much of anything. this weekend was good. fun night at colins and then off to aaron's for a pretty good time. would have been better if zach was here but he was too busy hitting homers in tulsa ;).
went to the pan am track meet yesterday and realized how much i miss it. running has been what i've revolved my life around for so long that it's still weird to not have to wake up every morning for practice. i still run now and then but it's not the same. i mean i'll never stop running completely, it's my escape when things are crazy, but i miss being on the team. like having to do an impossible workout and thinking there's no way in hell i'll hit the times but then having my teammates there pushing me the whole way. and the feeling you have once you're finished. that feeling is just the best thing in the world. it just feels good to be on a team, to be doing what you love and have people there doing the exact same thing and going through everything you are. okay i should probably stop because the tears are coming.
i felt like writing a lot earlier but now i don't. i have to finish making cookies anyway. adios.
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(you can breathe... | but the air is running out)
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[08 Mar 2005|12:56pm] |
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rachael yamagata - paper doll |
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well this weekend was a blast. went to the baseball game saturday with tasha and mona. the broncs kicked ass. then out to colin's for a night of kicking ass with silke in beer pong and beating zach in a chugging contest. we had to chug two beers as fast as we could and technically he won but barely and then we realized there was a lot left in his beer cans sooo I WON! hah.
yesterday i did absolutely nothing all day. the highlight of my day was running for about 40 minutes. fun i know. then today i had to wake up at the crack of dawn to drive megan to the airport. i hope when she comes back she's wearing overall's again like after christmas break.
alright, second day of spring break and i'm completely bored. i can't go to the beach because i have work soo i'm stuck here with absolutely nothing to do. yeah okay, cry me a river but whatever this sucks.
anyway, here are some pictures from the game. my day is has been so boring that i have nothing else to say so bye.
( Baseball Game )
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(you can breathe... | but the air is running out)
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| some beach... |
[05 Mar 2005|11:38am] |
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blake shelton - playboys of the southwestern world |
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the concert was so much fun. blake shelton is soooo hott and 1/3 of rascal flatts is too. i'm a little disappointed because rascal flatts didn't play "my worst fear". megan and i were really looking forward to that song because we always yell when he sings "like a ton of bricks...IT HIT ME YOU WERE GONE!" oh well. the concert was still a blast, even though zach was in a bad mood the whole time. he didn't seem like he was having fun but he said he was just tired and didn't feel like screaming for guys. then after the conert we got into a "sort-of" arguement because he was being so grumpy and i didn't want to be around him if he was gonna be like that. but he realized how dumb he was being and said he was sorry [because he's the best boyfriend ever] and we made up.
so yeah, spring break is here. woo-hoo <--notice the lack of enthusiasm. it's just not a big deal anymore. really the only thing great about this week will be a break from classes. if i make it down to the beach, great, if not oh well. i doubt i will though since megan is going home to ooooohio, lizet doesn't want to go to the beach [totally understandable] and zach has games and practices. sooo it looks like it's just gonna be a lazy week at home which is completely fine by me.
anyway, here some pictures from the concert. a lot didn't come out that well, the pictures of blake shelton were too dark. :( oh well
( joe don is hott )
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(but the air is running out)
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| let's try this again |
[02 Mar 2005|05:58pm] |
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accomplished |
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rascal flatts - my worst fear |
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so i gave into livejournal again. like they say, writing soothes the soul. but since it doesn't soothe your hand, typing on the keyboard will serve as my solution. let's just see how long i last this time.
today was a pretty good day. woke up early for class just to find out it was cancelled. so awesome. then i went to tv production to take my midterm to find out it was ridiculously easy. tv class and dr. mann make me smile. then got a call from barnes and noble to find out someone will cover my saturday shift which means i can go to zach's games and hang out with the girls later for megan's last night in town. and now i've finally finished these damn livejournal overrides so my journal looks pretty. not so productive day but thoroughly enjoyable.
talked to mona today. haven't heard from her or tash in awhile; my fault i know. i thought by quitting the track team i'd have more time but it seems like i have less now. i guess since i'm almost done with school i'll be busy all the time now.
anyway, rascal flatts is tomorrow!!!! i've been waiting forever and a day for this concert and now that that day is over i'm so excited. hopefully lizet will have fun even though she's not that into country as me, zach, and megan are. i'm sure we'll have fun regardless.
well enough for today. this was sort of just a test entry anyways. maybe i'll post a more interesting one later.
( just testing my ability to insert pictures )
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(you can breathe... | but the air is running out)
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